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Strength Beyond What Is Normal …A Mother’s Story…
(this is a true story)
His name was “Curley”, and he was the meanest Bull that you had ever seen…and yes…I am talking about a real “Bull” with four legs and horns. Uncle Homer had always warned about Curley, and the whole family would shutter, as he would tell the tale of the time when Curley had him cornered and he had to crawl under the truck.
Well one day, as the family sat by the lake, my mother and her cousin who were only little girls at the time, were walking along the fence when they saw to their horror, “Curley was out!” My mother still remembers feeling Curley’s hot breath on the back of her heels, as she and her cousin Nancy ran toward the rest of the family, down by the lake.
Needless to say, when the family saw the scene, they all leaped up from their chairs and started running, all except one person…My Nana, my mother’s mother. She stood up, feet planted and with a determination, that we see in movies where the hero sacrifices himself on behalf of the noblest of causes…She picked up a lawn chair, and held it in front of Curley’s charging advances, while she said, “Stop, Curley!” Her voice was low, and resolute, and her stance was firm and unshaken…and…Guess What? Curley stopped…yes he stopped right then and there, and slowly turned and walked away.
You all may be wondering why I have just related this story, and what it may have to do with Autism. Well, I personally gain a tremendous amount of strength from the deeper meaning as we answer the pending question that we all have. Why would a slight little woman of only 5ft 4in, go up against this ferocious animal…especially, when everyone else just ran for their lives…a pretty normal reaction to a charging bull…don’t you think?
Well, you see, that little lady was reacting to an instinct that is stronger than any force out there…The intense Love and Protective Bond that a mother has for her child. Her child, her little girl, that she loved more than life itself, was in imminent danger, and so there was never a question in her mind when she held up that chair…she had to “Stop the Bull!”
All mothers have this knee/jerk reaction when it comes to the protection of our most precious possessions, our children, but when it comes to mothering a child that is on the Autism Spectrum…well, that is a whole different level and dimension of protection. To me, “Curley the Bull” represent “The Autism Spectrum”…and this bull is charging…head on towards our children. As mothers, and parents of our beloved children…we see the danger…and we face it, with feet planted, head on! We don’t hesitate, and we don’t even think of ourselves or our own fears…even though we may have them…Our children are our priority, and nothing shakes our focus from our love and protection of them.
We muster up, with strength beyond what is normal to face the bull that is Autism, and we grab a chair and hold it firmly in front of it’s advances. We face the bull that is Curley everyday with gut wrenching courage. It can take quite the toll as well, because the world that we live in, sometimes feels very ill equipped to deal with the “Bull” that is Autism. It is a constant protection that we feel we must bolster up as well, as this Bull of Autism has many faces, and of things that most mothers of typical children are not used to facing and protecting their children from. Things like school, peers, society, ect.
Others may not understand us, or comprehend the magnitude of this level of protection that we have developed deep in our hearts, just as all the others in my story that ran away. Nevertheless, they see it, and they admire it as something very rare indeed. As this is story of my grandmother and “Curley” the Bull is still a favorite tale in my family that is told again and again with much fondness, for now some 60 years.
So be of good courage, my friends…and stand firm…put on your concrete shoes, and grab up your chair! Take a firm grip, and “Face It”…with unrelenting vigor…The “Bull” that is “Autism”.
Kimberly Larochelle
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Many children on the Autism Spectrum have difficulty recognizing emotional cues such as nonverbal expressions which are thought to be conveyed through the eyes as well as connecting with others emotionally on an interpersonal basis. A large part of communication between humans is nonverbal communication. This means to say that it is not just the words that are spoken but in addition how they are spoken, inflection, as well hand gestures, body postures and facial expression. The inability to recognize faces and facial expression is called prosopagnosia. This inability to interpret facial expressions often leads to difficulty in social situations with others. It is also been thought to be involved with a lack of empathy toward others which also is at times associated with autism. The area of the brain most associated with prosopagnosia is the fusiform gyrus of the temporal lobe. Although it is thought that the fusiform gyrus has a specific face area, it is also thought to be responsible for things such as processing of color information as well as number and word recognition. As an example, people with prosopagnosia can recognize a different pens or forks but not faces. Until recently it was thought that propsopagnosia or face blindness and is is sometimes called could not be improved. Instead, patients were taught techniques to compensate for the face recognition deficiency such as looking at clothing, voice or hair color in order to attempt to identify who the patient was speaking with. A recent study in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders published out of the University of Alabama Birmingham used a computer based social skills training program for children with autism spectrum disorders. This interactive program showed a positive impact in a group with Autism and a group with Asperger’s Syndrome. Both groups showed improvement in the ability to recognize faces as well as improvements in the ability to recognize emotion. The Asperger’s group also showed improvement in social interactions in a natural environment. This should come as great news to parents who see their children have difficulty making friends and struggle while attempting to socialize at school or the park. This feeds well into the current model of neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to change, in which practitioners of functional neurology are looking for tools to activate specifically targeted under functioning areas of the brain. With regular stimulation of these areas at the correct intensity and frequency, positive changes can be made to help address various deficiencies whether sensory, motor or in this case social. If you have a child on the Autism Asperger’s Syndrome and this type of treatment sounds interesting to you, look for a physician that practices functional neurology in your area.
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Time magazine put Temple Grandin on its list of the 100 most influential people of the year! HBO produced an award winning movie based on her life! Books such as, “Thinking in Pictures” and “Emergence: Labeled Autistic”, have been written as well in which Temple Grandin wrote about Autism.
Grandin, now considered a high-functioning person with autism, earned a Ph.D. from the University of Illinois and is a professor of animal science at Colorado State University . It is amazing to realize that when she was a child, the doctors told her parents that she should be institutionalized. This was a common recommendation for autistic children in the 1950’s. Thankfully, her parents refused and got her intensive intervention.
Temple Grandin spoke to an audience of 2,500 at Drury University . Mary Failla, and received a standing ovation. The autism community understandably admires her very much and her life’s work is exceptionally motivating. Here is a clip of part of her speech, and I hope all find it as inspiring as I did.
http://www.theautismnews.com/2011/03/04/autistic-professor-temple-grandin-inspires-crowd/
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Last week ABC Action News, Medical Correspondent, Linda Hurtado came to my office to interview me about my thoughts on this study. The study in BMC Medicine suggests that it may be possible to predict which infants are at risk of developing ASD based on patterns of brain activity. In this study, there were 79 infants, between ages 6 to 24 months, 46 of whom were considered at a high risk of developing ASD. Infants were fitted with net containing electrodes and their brain waves were measured, as the children watched a researcher blow bubbles. The brain wave pattern in the high risk group was different. If they can find a marker like this, it will give us some glimpse of early detection and therefore incorporate earlier intervention, thus leading to the best outcomes for these children.
Link to study and ABC News Story:
http://www.abcactionnews.com/dpp/news/health/using-brain-waves-to-predict-autism-spectrum-disorder-in-infants
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I have a tattered little piece of paper that decorates my fridge, and it’s nothing fancy…really quite worn…but on it is written some of the best advice that I have ever given myself. It is called “10 Helpful Hints”. The reason I keep it on my “fridge” is so that I may FOLLOW this advice that I have given to myself…And…I am reminded everyday, several times a day, every time I open the fridge…”Follow Your Own Advice”…
It seems that the closer I follow these 10 little tips…Life flows a little easier, and the world seems a little brighter. The more I read them and keep these tips foremost in my mind…I seem to be able to muster up more Hope in my heart, along with Courage and Strength.
I have found that in our Autism Spectrum Community, the struggle can be quite hard, and it can take a toll, physically, mentally, and emotionally. If we can muster up though, and be strong enough one day, while our fellow may be lacking on that very same day…then…we can pass along a “shoulder to lean on”…and maybe someone will provide a “shoulder” for us, on another day…when we may be stumbling… The point is, we are all on the same “crooked road”…and just as I have been up built by this tattered little slip of paper…I will pass it along…in the hopes that it may give someone else a boost.
- Never give up on a cure.
- Read, read, and read some more everything on the subject…then keep what’s good, and discard what’s not…and keep a “not sure” file as well.
- Listen to your “Gut”…there is no one on this earth that loves this child as you do…or that knows this child better that you do…so “Arm” yourself with your own wisdom of your child, and become his or her best Advocate.
- If a therapist, doctor, teacher, etc…does not connect with your child…Find someone that does.
- If a therapy or diet is not having successful results…stop…and find something that will bring success.
- Ask questions…lots of questions…and write them down, so that you can carry them with you when you go to your child’s doctors, therapists, etc…and if your questions are met with distain, sarcasm, or with a patronizing response…Find someone that will answer your questions with respect and dignity.
- When you feel like the world is caving in on you…take a Bubble Bath, a Long Walk…or anything to help you re-group to face the challenge again.
- Try to stay healthy yourself…this is hard as you may feel selfish about giving yourself any attention…so…just remember who you need to be healthy for…Your child… and they are depending on you…You cannot assist them very well if you get sick…
- Join a Support Group…and not just any support group. Make sure that you will be able to gather “purposeful” support from this group…and that it truly satisfies your need of support in both a practical, and in an emotional sense. Ask yourself, “What was I able to take away from this meeting?” Any tips or information, and maybe even play dates for my child, etc…not just a “Gripe Session”.
- Do not feel guilty that your child is in this situation, and do not plague yourself with the “What if’s” or the “If only I knew then what I know now”…and Do not look back with regret…just keep moving forward to Accomplishment!
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I know many of you are very experienced with regard to Autism Spectrum Disorders and the various treatments and diets however, the reality, unfortunately is that there are always new parents that need basic help and information in a friendly format. I ran across this slide presentation on the Web M.D. web site that I think would be a good starter for someone new to Autism looking to embark on the journey that is the Gluten Free Diet. This information relates to Gluten Free without regard to Autism but Gluten Free is Gluten Free. I hope you all like it and that it helps at least one person out there.
http://www.webmd.com/diet/slideshow-gluten-free-diet
