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We’ve all experienced it…and quite a few times actually…every time we are with or around “typical children”. It may be at the mall, or at a playground…and all of a sudden our child does something, whether it be hollering, flapping or spinning…we don’t notice right away, because we are accustomed to being around these little stims at home. It takes a couple of seconds, and by the time, we notice…we’ve also noticed something else…Yes…from other parents and other children…it’s the “sideways glance”. It’s penetrating, and brutal, and it is virtually overwhelming when the “sideways glance” is coupled with a few hushed whispers from one typical mom to the next. We can’t blame them…but we do! They think they are being discreet…but they are not! Some, may even give us a patronizing look of sympathy, and feel that it may make us feel better…But…it doesn’t!
So, what do we do? How do we feel? We all know how we SHOULD feel…the noble attitude of, “This is my child, and yes, he is autistic…this is just fine, and I love him and I accept him as he is in all environments…and I am not embarrassed or ashamed…so there…” and we hold our head high with dignity. This is our façade…this is our mask. Although there are a few of us that have been able to achieve the inner strength to muster up this same resolve and confidence in their hearts as well…most of us….well, deep inside us…our hearts are breaking!
Those sideways glances, whispers, and patronizing looks…they hurt, and yes…badly…like the stabs of a knife into our hearts. We think to ourselves, “I shouldn’t let this bother me.” And “I don’t even care what other people think.” But…it does bother us, and it does embarrass us. We may ask ourselves, “Why does this bother me…Why don’t I just “get over” myself…
The answer is just as simple, and as natural as a heartbeat…We are HUMAN! And, as human beings, we care about what others think of us, and we long to be accepted…it is in our job description as people. People conform to social graces, and standards, and this makes us all feel comfortable, and secure. As a society of people, we have come a long way too…Just look at us…we have disabilities all around us and we don’t even flinch anymore, at someone in a wheelchair, or a blind or deaf person. But…when it comes to a “social disability” as in the autism spectrum….well that is a real jagged pill. Because of our set standards of behavior, these social disabilities make people uncomfortable, and they are at a loss as to how to react.
So, what is the answer…education, exposure…Yes, and yes, these are big parts of the puzzle that is “Acceptance” and “Awareness”.
This April, lets all promote Autism Awareness as never before, since April is the dedicated month of International Autism Awareness and therein afterwards, month after month, year after year, day after day. As there is more and more Autism Awareness…less and less become the occasions when we have to endure “The Sideways Glance”.
Kimberly Larochelle
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Warriors for Autism are a non-profit organization dedicated to promoting Autism awareness. This foundation raises funds to help create programs such as sponsoring therapies, organizing family field trips, support groups, and sensory-friendly play dates for children and families of Autism Spectrum.
The goal of Deena Rivera, founder of Warriors for Autism is not only to raise awareness about Autism, but also to generate a desperate need for funding, in order to sponsor families who do not otherwise have access to vital therapies and much needed assistance in the Tampa Bay area.
This Saturday, 4/23rd, Deena Rivera and her Warriors for Autism are hosting the following event and I thought many would be interesting in attending especially in this month of April, since it honors International Autism Month.
Here is the information to the event:
1st Annual Tampa Bay Joins Hands for Autism
Cocktails & Silent Auction Benefit
Saturday, April 23, 2011 from 6:30pm – 10:30pm
A fun evening event for Tampa ’s Warriors to come together, to dine, dance and show support for the fight against difficulties our autistic children face everyday. Proceeds from this event will be dedicated towards creating safe and affordable summer programs for children with autism spectrum disorders.
For further information contact:
Deena@warriorsforautism.com / 813-857-1698
www.warriorsforautism.org
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Autism is Local. Autism is National. Autism is International. The month of April is honoring “World Autism Month” and so do we here at the Mane’ Center. There are no boundaries in the world that is Autism, and there is no color, race, creed, social or economic distinctions either.
The Mane’ Center has been embracing visitors and patients all the way from the Tampa Bay Area to Michigan and North Carolina , to the UK this month! It is truly a pleasure to be able to see the worldwide scope and the outpouring of international togetherness to find a solution for our world’s children and families living with Autism Spectrum.
A few months ago, I had the great pleasure of being interviewed by Kevin Healey of Autism Radio UK . This was a tremendous forward step in a positive direction in getting the word out about hope and help for Autism Spectrum Disorders.
HERE IS THE LINK TO THE INTERVIEW:
http://www.autismradiouk.co.uk/archive/listen-again/200.php
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Ahhh…the life of a child…So wistfully happy, and ultimately carefree. With not a care in the world, a child is free…free from life’s stresses, and so it is, and so it should be the best time of life. This state of being is usually true of most typical children, but to most of those that are within the Autism Spectrum…it is not. For these children, life in general is just the opposite. Instead of being carefree…they are worried. Instead of being happy…they are frustrated, and fretful. Life for them can be “too Loud”, “too Confusing”, or just “too Much”… For example, I give you…”A Day at the Beach…” The sounds of the waves…so very pleasant, and relaxing…for MOST, and yet for them, these same sounds that can relax us and even lull us to sleep…can be as a “Frightening Roar” to these children. Let’s add just another sensory component to our scene, shall we: The “feel’ of the warm sand, as it squeezes between our toes…it is a wonderful sensation …for MOST, and yet for them, the texture of this same sand is as an extreme irritant, and it’s sensation attacks their “Tactile Sense”, and it can be painful to them. Let’s add to this picture yet again… “The Bright Sunny Day”, as the sun beams and glistens on the water like sparkling diamonds…Beautiful…Yes…for MOST, and yet for them, the bright sun is too bright, as they cover their eyes, in search of shade, and relief from the onslaught of the sun. Add the occasional sounds of the “Sea Gulls”. as we watch in delight, while they soar and land upon the shore, lifting their heads and calling to whomever may hear them…an intriguing delight for MOST, and yet these same sounds are as literal “Shrieks” that jump out of the air suddenly, and startle them to their very core. Those on the Autism Spectrum have some very bewildering sensory issues, as some of their senses are overly sensitive, and yet others under sensitive…add to the confusion , and you will find that there is varying combinations of overly and under sensory issues and degrees, and all unique to each individual. I used to say, “If only I could get inside my little boy, and see the world through his eyes and ears…I would know…I would KNOW…”
And so… “A Day at the Beach” …for many on the Autism Spectrum…really is NOT… “A Day at the Beach”… It is very much a stressful and dramatically exhausting endeavor for them…and just the opposite from the way that we think of the occasion, and the expression that we loosely use to describe something easy and stress free…in other words: “A DAY AT THE BEACH” By: Kimberly Larochelle
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Yes, “Chewelry”. It’s an oral sensory tool that is a necklace. It is durable, colorful and and very safe. The creator of chewelry is a mom and she noticed that her daughter, with Tourette Syndrome, SPD and OCD, very much appreciated a heart pendant she had made for her teething sister in much the same way as regards to the oral stimulation. Many children on the Autism Spectrum have similar sensory seeking needs.
It’s washable, and has a breakaway clasp that will release and can be re-attached easily. The lanyard is very durable 100 % organic cotton and there is an undyed organic cotton lanyard as well.
This is just a little thing that sometimes can be a big help to parents in the situation of their oral sensory seeking children wanting to put almost anything in their mouths in order to satisfy this tremendous need. Some parents have resorted to gum, straws, caramels, or very chewy taffy to help satisfy and calm this urge to chew.
I am passing along this website and parent testimonials about this product in the hopes that it may be a small or a big help to special needs families that may be dealing with this situation.
Here is the link:
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I sat stunned while I waited at the traffic light, as I gazed at my little boy, Levi riding in the car in front of mine with his daddy. The car in back of me tapped on their horn to break my paralyzed state. “He just waved at me…HE JUST WAVED AT ME!” my voice broke to no one but myself as I drove alone. I was speaking of my son, who had just waved at me with a grin from ear to ear, for the 1st time in his life! He is 10 years old, and I just got my very 1st wave from him…Amazing!
It was amazing because it was a REAL WAVE, not something that he HAD to do or had been trained to do…No…he “emotionally felt” this wonderfully simple and yet powerfully complex gesture.
Of course, what makes this situation so noteworthy is the fact that my son was diagnosed with Aspergers. What is a wave to someone with Aspergers? Certainly, my son never understood the meaning emotionally. And now…NOW he DID!!!
His eyes were alive and danced with understanding and emotional awareness. This made my heart leap, and every fiber of my being exploded in a crescendo of happiness. I thought to myself and even spoke aloud, “He’s going to be ALL RIGHT…”, and my eyes filled with joy unsurpassed.
Since that “Wave”, there have been many more small and yet huge gestures of emotional awareness and fellow feeling shown and my heart applauds each one. We have seen “blowing kisses”, “winks”, “grins and smiles of enjoyment”, “thumbs-up gestures” and of course “waves” of hello and goodbye…all accompanied by the most beautiful eye contact you have ever seen! Those olive-green eyes of awareness and understanding are by far the dreamiest and most breathtaking that I have ever gazed upon.
As these emotional “jewels” manifest themselves, other less desirable traits seem to be diminishing. Things such as anxiety, frustration, and fear. His demeanor seems calmer, happier, and more secure. As a matter of fact, this calmer and happy state has had a runoff effect on the entire family. There is a peacefulness that has settled in our home and it has replaced worry and apprehension.
There are many tiny miracles around us and we experience them in many ways everyday…some of these are as simple as a smile, or a
…“WAVE”…
By: Kimberly Larochelle
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When a child is lost, the seconds tick away like hours until that child is found. For parents with children on the the Autism Spectrum, quite often this can be a very familiar and most traumatic feeling. Many times, it is the case that a child with Autism will wander off at the park or the mall. For ASD children, the risks can be frightening, as these children may not realize they’re lost and therefore would not ask for help. While others may realize they’re lost but because of the social and or speech difficulties, cannot convey that they are in need of help. They may even hide or run away.
Wandering is usually thought of in regards to Alzheimer’s, but this tendency to wander is a very big problem for many Autism Spectrum Families as well.
The National Autism Association has a safety toolkit on autism and wandering. I thought I would pass this along to everyone. I hope this aid can serve as a good measure of caution and also help families prepare for something that they never have to experience.
Autism wandering and prevention brochure
http://www.nationalautismassociation.org/safetytoolkit.php
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In the world of Autism Spectrum, someone once said, “There are those out there that will Help You…and there are those out there that Want Your Money”. It hurts for us to hear this, and yet, as with everything else, this is true as well in the world of Autism. It hurts us more when it’s our precious children that happen to be victims to those that are out for money. These ones prey upon the desperation of the parents of Autism Spectrum Children, and work hard to win their trust, knowing that loving our children the way we do…we will pay our last dime to make them better.
Therefore, this situation sets up a continuous rise and fall of hope to hopelessness…and we become jaded, distrustful, and cynical. We may feel that we cannot take the polar dives from joy to pain in our hearts any longer…and so sometimes we give up! We may even begin to think that if it sounds too good…then…it cannot be true!
I have felt this way many, many times in the first 8 years of my son’s life. I was close to giving up hope dozens of times, and thank goodness, I never did! Perhaps if I relate an experience that I had, it will help you understand why I am so thankful that I never, ever lost hope…
One day…
…about a year ago, I had the pleasure of driving down Hwy 49 in California, called the Gold Miners, or 49ers trail. Along this trail, you can visit and learn the history of all those miners who panned for gold…looking…looking for the glitter. I got to pan for gold as well…and realized how very hard and tedious it was. As I worked the pan swirling round and round looking for the glint of yellow…I found much that shone bright in the sun…only to have the miner tell me, “Nope, only fool’s gold, little lady…”
And so, I worked my pan to and fro…back and forth…making swirling and swishing movements…with the object being…since the “Gold” is heavy…heavier than the sand, and silt, it STAYS in the pan! I liken this “REAL GOLD” to “Helpful, Progressive, and Functional Therapy Protocol”…It “STAYS IN THE PAN”, so to speak…and it withstands…there is no argument against it, as it is devastating in its logic, and it just makes good sense. It “WORKS”…
Fools Gold, however, may shine, and it is pretty…but it is “VALUELESS”…just as a therapy protocol or center may be “pretty”, perhaps a very nice and shiny facility with nice therapists. Be sure to ask yourself, “What is it really…little lady?” “Is it mere fools gold?” “Is it worth anything?” In other words… “Is this therapy or treatment doing any good, and is my child progressing?” If not…Then…It is VALUELESS…and not worth anything, especially not worth your money and time!
Please do not make the mistake of thinking that there is NO GOLD…just because it may be difficult to find. It takes effort, much effort to find it…nevertheless…IT’S THERE!!! There, also may be those that call you foolish for even trying and for going to such efforts…yet the reward is great…when you can shout at the top of you voice, “Eureka!”
You may wonder if I ever did find gold…The answer is YES!!! I found “GOLD” literally…and better yet…figuratively…with a treatment plan perfect for my son…worth all the gold in the world and more…
“EUREKA !!!”
BY: Kimberly Larochelle
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I am very proud to be part of the Advisory Board of the Sensory Star Program. Kathleen Tehrani is working very hard to fulfill a very important need and considerate kindness in the Autism Community and to all of the traveling population with important sensory considerations.
This website is a great reference that a traveling family can go to and find sensory friendly accommodations. You can find a hotel or resort on this site that is identified with a Sensory Star™ logo and know that it’s designation means it complies with a high standard of providing an environment of overall sensory comfort for it’s guests. This is a great service to the familes that struggle with these sensory issues especially sometimes this can this be the case while on vacation. Maybe this service can make vacationing a little more enjoyable and stressfree.
Here is the website:
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Jules Burt is making city tours to Tampa , Sarasota , Plant City , Orlando and many more to raise awareness and to benefit the children and families with Autism. Throughout the country, Hikers in High Heels will unite to raise awareness for Autism. Her motto is “Talk about Autism…It’s closer than you think!”
Jules is one great lady who, single-handedly, saw a great need in the Autism Community and not only did this need touch her heart deeply, but she put her words to action…in other words…she got busy! Many will see a desperate need, and a few will work hard to fulfill a desperate need. Jules continuously keeps a pulse on the Autism Community and keeps on working to fulfill the needs of the families and children of Autism.
She leads with a glowing smile and a gleam of purpose in her eyes. Her enthusiasm is contagious as she speaks, and she walks with a stride that makes everyone want to follow in her steps closely so as not to be left behind.
The High Heel Hike is a wonderful means to bring about a more positive direction in the world of Autism. The purpose and funds received will go to the families, the children, and to assist in the everyday lives that are such a struggle for these ones, day to day, moment by moment. Not only is the Hike beneficial, but Jules Burt makes it a glorious and fun-filled event where all you hear is a roar of laughter and all you see is a bright horizon of smiling faces.
Here is the link to the site for more information on Jules Burt and the High-Heel Hike.
http://www.highheelhike.com/
