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Can Emotion Be Taught???
Can you teach someone to feel?
Is it a “Heart-Felt Smile” or are we just “Showing Teeth”?
“Smile Sweetie…please smile…” I would plead to my little boy, before his Granny would come for a visit. The result was always the same…a very stiff showing of teeth, not a real smile, and nothing about it was emotional in any way. It was just something that he had to do, whenever he saw his grandmother. It was kind of like Pavlov’s Dog…with my little boy…”I see Granny’s Face — I Smile”. And, I taught him well because he remembered every time…yes…the stiff showing of teeth, a very robotic gesture indeed.
I would marvel at the difference in the reunion, as I watched my younger child, who is not on the Autism Spectrum; react when his Granny came for a visit. “Granny!” The shout was gleeful, like pure Happiness had filled the air…and his face…his face held the most heartfelt and emotionally charged smile that spread to his entire body, as it flowed from it’s emotional center. I never had to teach him this display…he just knew it, and came by his emotional gestures, and social graces very naturally. For most of us, this does not need to be taught.
Deep remorse over what my little boy could not feel, or experience depressed me deeply. Our greatest gift as human beings is emotion, and it is also the greatest tragedy in that, for many on the Autism Spectrum, this emotional aspect of their lives is missing, diminished, or inappropriate in some way. In much of the therapy that we would try…there would be at its core…a reward system. If you smile…you can play with that toy. If you say “Thank You”, I’ll give you a cookie.
My little boy loved rewards, and he was quite good at completing whatever tasks were required in order to receive it. And so…He would “Smile”…and he would get to play with the toy. And…He would say, “Thank You”…and he would get the cookie. And…I guess that I should have been happy with that…after all he was responding to the “Social Graces” of
Society, right???…well maybe…It’s just that, while he said the right words, and made the right gestures…he didn’t…“Feel It”… and it never hit his emotional center…at least from all outward appearances. He couldn’t mirror the faces of the people that loved him and would smile at him, and just long for him to smile back.
I desperately wanted so much more for my little boy, than just to be able to respond robotically to social situations. I wanted to somehow find something or someone who could reach the emotional center of his little brain…so that he would be able to “experience” emotion. I wanted him to “feel” the smile, the hug, the emotion.
And now the emotion is here! When I put down his plate of supper in front of him, he looks up at me, straight into my eyes, and with a warm smile, he says, “Thank you, Mommy”…and, I didn’t have to promise a toy…When I give him a smile, and a thumbs – up…he knows what that means, and he gives me a smile…and real one…and a thumbs – up right back.
Best of all…are the times that Granny comes over…Wow!!! I can’ t believe my eyes, as this child, that would formally, stand back, smile stiffly (because that was what he was supposed to do), and say “Hi, Granny” in a rather monotone voice….THIS SAME CHILD…runs to the door, and embraces his grandmother with the most loving emotion that rivals even his little brother. And I watch this reunion through the bleary eyes of tears that overwhelm me with a tremendous sense of happiness and joy.
We are not just “Showing Teeth” anymore…
Sincerely,
Kimberly Larochelle
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In the world of Autism Spectrum, someone once said, “There are those out there that will Help You…and there are those out there that Want Your Money”. It hurts for us to hear this, and yet, as with everything else, this is true as well in the world of Autism. It hurts us more when it’s our precious children that happen to be victims to those that are out for money. These ones prey upon the desperation of the parents of Autism Spectrum Children, and work hard to win their trust, knowing that loving our children the way we do…we will pay our last dime to make them better.
Therefore, this situation sets up a continuous rise and fall of hope to hopelessness…and we become jaded, distrustful, and cynical. We may feel that we cannot take the polar dives from joy to pain in our hearts any longer…and so sometimes we give up! We may even begin to think that if it sounds too good…then…it cannot be true!
I have felt this way many, many times in the first 8 years of my son’s life. I was close to giving up hope dozens of times, and thank goodness, I never did! Perhaps if I relate an experience that I had, it will help you understand why I am so thankful that I never, ever lost hope…
One day…
…about a year ago, I had the pleasure of driving down Hwy 49 in California, called the Gold Miners, or 49ers trail. Along this trail, you can visit and learn the history of all those miners who panned for gold…looking…looking for the glitter. I got to pan for gold as well…and realized how very hard and tedious it was. As I worked the pan swirling round and round looking for the glint of yellow…I found much that shone bright in the sun…only to have the miner tell me, “Nope, only fool’s gold, little lady…”
And so, I worked my pan to and fro…back and forth…making swirling and swishing movements…with the object being…since the “Gold” is heavy…heavier than the sand, and silt, it STAYS in the pan! I liken this “REAL GOLD” to “Helpful, Progressive, and Functional Therapy Protocol”…It “STAYS IN THE PAN”, so to speak…and it withstands…there is no argument against it, as it is devastating in its logic, and it just makes good sense. It “WORKS”…
Fools Gold, however, may shine, and it is pretty…but it is “VALUELESS”…just as a therapy protocol or center may be “pretty”, perhaps a very nice and shiny facility with nice therapists. Be sure to ask yourself, “What is it really…little lady?” “Is it mere fools gold?” “Is it worth anything?” In other words… “Is this therapy or treatment doing any good, and is my child progressing?” If not…Then…It is VALUELESS…and not worth anything, especially not worth your money and time!
Please do not make the mistake of thinking that there is NO GOLD…just because it may be difficult to find. It takes effort, much effort to find it…nevertheless…IT’S THERE!!! There, also may be those that call you foolish for even trying and for going to such efforts…yet the reward is great…when you can shout at the top of you voice, “Eureka!”
You may wonder if I ever did find gold…The answer is YES!!! I found “GOLD” literally…and better yet…figuratively…with a treatment plan perfect for my son…worth all the gold in the world and more…
“EUREKA !!!”
BY: Kimberly Larochelle
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My heart was torn in two complete pieces…and both pieces were crushed as I heard the conversation between my two little boys. My oldest, age 8 at the time, and my youngest was 6. My 8 year old son was on the autism spectrum…while my 6 year old son is not.
We were at the playground and here is how the conversation went…
“You ruin everything!” my youngest choked out with frustrated tears streaming down his flushed cheeks, “I was making a friend…!” “Why, why, why…” he sobbed as he threw himself into my arms so I could comfort him, and help somehow…someway… Helplessly, I held him, as I gazed with pity and heart-wrenching pain at my other son who was completely confused as to why and how he had hurt his little brother.
Being on the autism spectrum, my older son had several “stims”, and as had happened many, many times before…these stims, or what typical children consider unusual and repelling behavior, manifested themselves at the playground this day, and had chased off a budding friendship that my other son was cultivating.
I felt devastated, and deplete of any answers for either one of my children. My heart bled and grieved deeply for both of my little boys. The pain and frustration of my youngest combined with the pain and frustration of my older son who couldn’t understand and yet knew that somehow he had done something wrong. The situation was overwhelmingly sad and every fiber of my being cried in futile anguish.
Twenty minutes later, however, the sun rose again! There was laughter, smiles, and complete forgiveness from my youngest…the “sibling of the spectrum”. As I watched, my two boys play the game that my oldest chose, as was the custom…my heart was mended. Tears still streamed down my face, but their source was from a tremendous degree of admiration for my little boy…my little “sibling of the spectrum”.
“Long-suffering” and “Truly Kind” were the words that describe my son. He was so very, very strong of character, integrity and loyalty. I was in awe of his resilience. I wanted to erect a statue in his honor right there on the playground…there for all to see the little hero, that played alongside his brother…loving him more than himself. This unselfish love…he seemed to have in abundance, and I cherished his little heart.
The “siblings of the spectrum” carry a heavy load, and yet their horizon and broadness of empathy is grand! Their level of understanding and patience is “off the charts”, and many, many times…they forgo their own wants and desires by putting their brother or sister ahead of themselves. They quietly busy themselves while their parents more often than not; have to give their sibling more required attention. They swallow embarrassment, and most times, pretend to ignore it…their honor is unsurpassed!
They are the “Siblings of the Spectrum”…and…should be revered as grand pillars of stability in the “Autism Family”. They are the quiet and humble hero’s that hardly ever get recognized for the calamities and disasters that they can overcome daily.
I wiped my tears from my eyes…walked over to my little one…my little “sibling of the spectrum”, kissed him on the forehead, and looking into his beautiful and kind little eyes that now laughed instead of cried, I said, “Thank you…”, and I meant so very much more…
By: Kimberly Larochelle
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Many children on the Autism Spectrum have difficulty recognizing emotional cues such as nonverbal expressions which are thought to be conveyed through the eyes as well as connecting with others emotionally on an interpersonal basis. A large part of communication between humans is nonverbal communication. This means to say that it is not just the words that are spoken but in addition how they are spoken, inflection, as well hand gestures, body postures and facial expression. The inability to recognize faces and facial expression is called prosopagnosia. This inability to interpret facial expressions often leads to difficulty in social situations with others. It is also been thought to be involved with a lack of empathy toward others which also is at times associated with autism. The area of the brain most associated with prosopagnosia is the fusiform gyrus of the temporal lobe. Although it is thought that the fusiform gyrus has a specific face area, it is also thought to be responsible for things such as processing of color information as well as number and word recognition. As an example, people with prosopagnosia can recognize a different pens or forks but not faces. Until recently it was thought that propsopagnosia or face blindness and is is sometimes called could not be improved. Instead, patients were taught techniques to compensate for the face recognition deficiency such as looking at clothing, voice or hair color in order to attempt to identify who the patient was speaking with. A recent study in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders published out of the University of Alabama Birmingham used a computer based social skills training program for children with autism spectrum disorders. This interactive program showed a positive impact in a group with Autism and a group with Asperger’s Syndrome. Both groups showed improvement in the ability to recognize faces as well as improvements in the ability to recognize emotion. The Asperger’s group also showed improvement in social interactions in a natural environment. This should come as great news to parents who see their children have difficulty making friends and struggle while attempting to socialize at school or the park. This feeds well into the current model of neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to change, in which practitioners of functional neurology are looking for tools to activate specifically targeted under functioning areas of the brain. With regular stimulation of these areas at the correct intensity and frequency, positive changes can be made to help address various deficiencies whether sensory, motor or in this case social. If you have a child on the Autism Asperger’s Syndrome and this type of treatment sounds interesting to you, look for a physician that practices functional neurology in your area.
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Its has been a very exciting week for me. I started the week doing a brain dissection in San Francisco which was absolutely inspiring to me. To see, hold and feel hold the human brain in your hands is a once in a life time experience. Yes, this is what I consider a great way to spend a three day weekend. Yesterday, Linda Hurtado from ABC Action News came out to the office and did a story about Hemispheric Integration Therapy. She is super and really down to earth and it was truly a pleasure to meet her. That’s a great week for me, here’s the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHPkaUoNaeI&feature=youtube_gdata
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We see many children on the Autism Spectrum that fall closest to the Asperger’s Syndrome category meaning that they have no issues with speech, are intelligent but have difficulty with social skills. As most of you know I am not big on labels and there usually is some mixing and matching such as ADD, OCD or tics associated with these children. This post is particularly meant for younger children although we see many adult children with similar issues relating to trouble socializing and excessive time on the computer. Dinosaurs and Star Wars are a recurring themes among this group and so I would like to share this link to Disney’s Star Wars Weekends which I think would thrill a child who is somewhat fixated on Star Wars. Here is the link. Have Fun! http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/parks/hollywood-studios/special-events/star-wars-weekend/
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This is a subject that doesn’t seem to get much attention but as I see families come in the office with children on the spectrum who have brothers and sisters, it is apparent that there is a dynamic going on that is often not addressed by the community. As I have said I the past, Autism affects children and therefore the entire family and society in so many ways. This is one aspect that doesn’t seem to get much attention. Here are 2 video clips relating to a sibling of a child with Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome, the interviews address how they feel. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOKAjJDwuBk&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEX-5YxUUoA&feature=related
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Many times the adults on the spectrum are ignored. Adults may have additional issues such as in this case that of dating. Here is a nice link to someone who covers this issue fairly well from an insiders perspective. I think this is a nice quick read which will help both a parent and an adult on the spectrum gain insight which may help them navigate this issue. This will not answer all of your questions but it is a nice place to start down this journey if you so choose. http://www.autismexpertshore.com/DatMarAu.pdf
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This is the case of a six-year-old child who presented with a diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome. He is also hyperactive. He has tantrums and can become aggressive. He has difficulty with social situations. He can be very intelligent in particular with regard to things that he enjoys such as dinosaurs and maps. He is a picky eater. He has some sensitivity to sounds and dysgraphia.
Incidentally noted was a misalignment of the eyes. But was this misalignment of the eyes really just an incidental finding or was it really a great clue as to where this child’s functional lesion originated from. We know that the number one comorbidity associated with autism spectrum disorders is in coordination. We know that the cerebellar and vestibular systems are intimately involved with balance and coordination. We see that many children on the autism spectrum in fact do have functional vestibular lesions as part of their problem and presentation.
So we can evaluate the child’s neurologic system as well as his vestibular system? Here are some things that we might look for . Are his eyes misaligned at rest? Is there any change in the alignment of his eyes with eye movement? Is there any involuntary movement of his eyes? Are his eye movements smooth and not ratchet like? Is his head tilted or rotated? Does the tilt and/or rotation improve when he closes his eyes? Does the child get dizzy easily? If you spin him in various directions, does he have an appropriate vestibular response?
By assessing function and determining where the issue lies, we can begin to formulate a treatment plan that will stimulate that pathway that is under functioning using the concepts of neural plasticity. In this case, we determined that the muscle was functionally short. We determined that there was an issue with the neurologic feedback system and the neurologic control of the length of the muscle. There was an issue with all the neurologic inputs to the muscle that help determine what it’s normal resting length should be. By addressing this functional vestibular lesion as well as other associated neurological dysfunction that we were able to pick up on his examination, the child has made other improvements which are more in line with what his parents brought him in for. So we know that the eye misalignment was not his primary complaint or what was a the greatest concern to his parents. However, it is an interesting and observable window into the physiologic changes that can be made with the appropriate functional treatment of his nervous system. That is to say, we cannot see the strengthening connections from his vestibular nucleus to his cerebellum for example but we can see the alignment of his eyes improving. This is what functional neurology is all about, observation, understanding, application and observation again. There was another clue in this child’s history that made it apparent that this was a functional lesion. This child had had three surgeries to correct the misalignment of his eyes. That is, they would operate to address the length of the eye muscle. The misalignment would correct temporarily and then return. This occurred three times. This is a simple clue to the functional neurology practitioner that indicates that the misalignment was not in fact a structurally short eye muscle but a functionally short eye muscle. That is, that the muscle was shortened due to faulty neurologic integration.
What else are we seeing with this child? His hyperactivity has improved, his temper tantrums have improved and he has not had a bowel or bladder accident in several weeks. His teacher relates that this past week was the first time that the child was able to do his writing work at school. He wrote seven words. The teacher states that he is having improved attention. He also played ball with his father for the first time in his life.
To explain how the vestibular system may be interrelated with issues such as hyperactivity, tantrums and social deficiencies is beyond the scope of this article. However, you can be aware that vestibular issues are common in children with autism spectrum disorders. Manifestations of vestibular malfunctions such as misalignment of the eyes may be related neurologically to symptoms being expressed as autism spectrum disorder and not an unrelated incidental finding. And now hopefully this is something you are aware of and can observe.
