There once was a traveler who came across a sight that intrigued him greatly. It was a full grown and very large elephant walking around in circles, only as far as he could walk, around and around in the small circumference that his back leg would let him.

The elephants leg was attached to a small length of rope which was tied to a small wooden peg that was stuck into the ground. The most curious thing to the traveler was that this full grown elephant, weighing several tons, could have easily pulled out the peg and escaped…yet he didn’t…he just walked around and around and never tried to pull out the peg in order to move any farther than his rope allowed. And so the traveler inquired further, and found out that this same elephant had been tied to this same rope and peg since he was just a baby. At that time, he wasn’t strong enough to yank the peg out of the ground no matter how hard he tried, therefore he gave up and eventually he never tried to break free again. He became discouraged, and that discouragement led to hopelessness.

Do we sometimes find ourselves in the same situation as this elephant? Discouraged and Hopeless. Striving with much effort to pull against the peg and failing to do so time and time again, thus instead of moving forward, we move around and around, pacing and never getting anywhere…never moving forward.

At some point in this elephant’s life as a baby he gave up and concluded it was futile to ever try again. Have we ever concluded this same futility within our minds and hearts and then just “given up”?   Those parent advocates with children on the Autism Spectrum have felt as this elephant many times as they have struggled hard against the wooden peg that is “Autism”. We can almost imagine ourselves as that baby elephant, remembering the day that we first got the diagnosis that our child had Autism or was somewhere on the Autism Spectrum. We pulled and pulled as hard as we could to break free, to move forward and find success for our child…nothing would stop our struggling against it! We didn’t give up either as we had much stamina in the beginning…we were determined to never, NEVER give up!

The question is however, have we given up? Have we stopped struggling? Does the “peg in the ground hold us still…as it’s prisoner?

The truth is all of us, if we are “real” and “honest” with ourselves, will answer “Yes”. To varying degrees, all of us have been in a state of discouragement and hopelessness haven’t we? The even bigger question is: Do we stay in this state…tied to this wooden peg?

Many of us have struggled against this peg for many years…every day…every hour…every minute, and we are weary, exhausted, and tired. What we may not realize though, is that we have grown! In all the time we have been struggling, and without noticing, we have gained strength! We may not even realize it, and still view ourselves as “baby elephants”, but much time has past and through our struggles…we have gained the stamina to pull out the peg. However, the key is believing that we actually can move forward. Without the hope and optimism we once had in the beginning, we will never, ever try. Do we believe we can?

Oftentimes, to believe in oneself requires the assistance of others. We need support! Others may need to hold up a mirror to us and show us just how strong we have become, and just how capable we really are. Sometimes we need to see someone else tied to a peg just like ours and yet have broken free…then in turn, they show us that it CAN be done.

It is noteworthy that this elephant that the traveler came across, was all alone, without any other elephants around…he was isolated. Sometimes, in our struggles, we tend to isolate ourselves…DON’T!

We absolutely need the support of others to keep on mustering up our optimism and hope!

 The support of others in our same situation, and with pegs of their own, is vital…as vital as breath is to life and therefore breathes life back into our attitude and keeps the discouragement from getting the best of us.

Can we see with our minds eye, pulling the peg out of the ground? We may always carry with us the rope and peg, as it may always be attached to us, and then again it could fall off as we keep moving forward…Nevertheless…

Keep moving forward!

Never, ever give up!

From his book, “How to win friends and influence people”, Dale Carnegie wrote this, “Most people care more about the pimple on their backside, than in World Hunger.”  Shocking statement isn’t it?  However he made this statement not to make us all feel like selfish, egotistical louses, but to make a strong and clear point about how we as humans connect with things.  In other words, to look beyond our own backyards and truly empathize with a person or situation, we must experience their situation, or at the very least, look at it with our own eyes and heart.  Remember the old saying, “Walk a mile in my shoes…”

Recently, I had the experience of moving to another city, thus transplanting myself and my family “beyond my backyard” and beyond my beloved hometown.  Even though I know well of Autism Spectrum and have written many times of the alarming statistics on a world-wide scale, I was amazed at meeting  new neighbors and many new acquaintances in my new city that were personally touched by Autism Spectrum too!  There has not been even a day that I have not seen a puzzle-piece ribbon bumper sticker, a business card promoting an Autism Support Group, a parent struggling with their child of the spectrum in a store, or even meeting a new neighbor and her little boy affected with ASD. 

In my mind of course, I knew this was the situation everywhere and the prevalence of ASD is in “Everyone’s Backyard”, nevertheless, I have seen beyond to other backyards with my own eyes, heard their heartbreaking stories with my own ears, and thus have been affected with their situations in my own heart as well.   The horizon is far, it is wide, and it is endless!  May it never be the case that we are short-sighted in our own minds and in our own hearts.

As we go on living from day to day, keep in mind that you belong to a very large group of people just like yourself.  They struggle, they scream, they cry, and they search for answers just like you.  The fact that we are all living in the “Information Age”, and with the Internet at our fingertips does help us to see beyond our backyards a little easier, and makes our outlook a bit broader.  Keep in mind however, that while we can be benefiting others in a variety of backyards far and wide, we cannot truly sympathize with their particular situation, as we may be the same in many ways, yet different. 

Understanding and empathizing with one another is something we can become experts at however, and becoming a good neighbor amidst our vast array of backyards, thus supporting in a very helpful and personal way each other, as we have “walked the mile…or two…in these shoes”, these shoes of Autism.

Kim Larochelle 

The search is great, and it can be brutal for the parent who struggles for answers and help for their child on the autism spectrum.

D.A.N. protocol, and functional medicine combined with Hemispheric Integration Therapy resulted in success, and this progress started happening very rapidly.  This family from (Oregon) flew back and forth for treatment at the Mane’ Center, and were amazed at the swift progress their son started making right from the start!

This parent testimonial from the mom, speaks to the importance of getting to the “core” or source of her son’s problems.  His speech has improved dramatically, along with his motor planning, gross and fine motor skills.

This is the link to her testimonial about finding answers that meant thriving results for her 16 year old son, Christopher.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGVzsgW2yGo&list=UUts4lDVcw-_iKKXTQuxdStQ&index=2&feature=plcp

It’s time for the holidays again along with one of our biggest challenges of all time, if we are the designated chef.  How to cook a Gluten – Free Holiday Meal that is not only safe but delicious too. 

Many of us have tried and failed many times when faced with this cooking project and ended up looking at our child spit out in disgust the food that we worked so very hard on.  Discouraged…a few tears…and perhaps this cooking project ends up indignantly in the garbage can!

Well, my Gluten-Free Friends, cooking gluten-free has come a long way and the food we can buy in the store and the recipes have become much easier to prepare, along with being more palatable as well.

I wanted to pass along this site from the Washington Post that is just chock full of Thanksgiving and Holiday Gluten-Free Recipes.  I hope these recipes come in handy for you as we face the “Great Gluten-Free Quest”.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/all-we-can-eat/post/gluten-free-recipes-for-thanksgiving/2011/11/21/gIQA3kzjiN_blog.html

Sweet sarcasm? The very thought may seem like the biggest oxymoron in the world!  Sarcasm, Sweet, I don’t thing so.  Of course, when we are victims of sarcasm, it is very cruel.  Yet, what if we don’t understand sarcasm?  What if we just don’t get it when someone is being sarcastic with us?  For instance, What if someone told you, “Well, you look so nice today.”  Let’s say they were being sarcastic and so this statement was said with a slur in their voice and a facial expression that didn’t fit with anything nice.  Now imagine, that we respond with the sincerest of a “Thank You” to this sarcasm…BECAUSE…we just don’t get it.  Even though we don’t understand the slur, it may confuse and upset us, as the words do not seem to match the face. 

Now imagine it’s not us at all who experiences this situation…it is our child and we watch painfully as this scenario unfolds.  If we have a child with Aspergers or on the Autism Spectrum, no doubt we have endured this torturous experience.  We wonder perhaps…  Do they understand the sarcasm?  If they understand, do they feel hurt and humiliated?  Or does the sarcasm even bother them?  We don’t know most times and we long for the ability somehow, someway to get inside our child’s head and heart to be able to understand how they perceive these things.  That way, we would also know how to pick up the pieces and soothe the specific hurt, if in fact there even were some injury.  We just don’t know do we?

I would like to share with you a conversation that I heard from the back seat of my car.   This particular conversation came from my two children, one with ASD who has never understood sarcasm and his typical younger sibling, not ASD.  It went like this:  “Here Jacob…You play the bad Guy.”, said my ASD child as he handed his brother the enemy toy figure.  He brother quipped back with a sarcastic smile and slur, “Well, thanks a lot, Levi.”  The next statement made me forget to breathe…”Jacob, you’re being sarcastic aren’t you?”  What? Did I just hear that right?  He recognized “Sarcasm” for the very first time in his life of 11 years!  This happened 2 weeks ago and in addition to recognizing more incidents of sarcasm, he has used expressions with double meanings, such as, “Thrown under the bus”, used in the right context, very naturally, and even being able to explain what this expression meant to a younger family member as it’s not meaning a literal bus.  Wow!

A sigh of relief also has come over me!  Social/Emotional Intellect as it emerges in our children is the best sleeping pill ever!  Our children may possess all the intellect in the world, however, as parents, we worry constantly about our children’s ability to find happiness and have successful social / emotional relationships with others.  To mature successfully, and thrive as humans, we must be able to incorporate our greatest gift, the Emotional/Social Connection with others.  In order for this to be a success, we know that two things must happen:  1. our children must be able to understand others.  And:  2. our children must be able to be understood by others.  To the extent that this is the case, the more likely we as parents can breathe more sighs of relief as we slowly start letting go and the time comes when they have to make it on their own, if in fact this is possible.  It can be a very scary thought even with typical children and much more frightening for our parents with children on the Autism Spectrum.

Things such as sarcasm, humor, pragmatic language, broadminded thought processes, etc., all have huge effects on social/ emotional awareness.  The greater the understanding of these socialites, the better the overall understanding of others can be, along with greater understanding of oneself.  These very things, can be taken for granted when they are not missing.  However, if these have been lost somewhere inside our beautiful children, and then, found, it is like a hidden treasure, worth more than we could ever have thought possible. It is in this instance, you see, that “Sarcasm” can be sweet and as sweet as honey, as long as it is “Understood”.

By: Kimberly Larochelle

Dr. Frances Jensen, neuroscientist at Children’s Hospital Boston and president-elect of the American Epilepsy Society, spoke at TEDMED 2010 conference about the developing brain.

Dr. Jensen has been active in exploring the connections between autism and epilepsy. This month Nature Medicine featured her work, which suggests that there’s more overlap between autism and seizures than previously thought.

In the world of Autism Spectrum, someone once said, “There are those out there that will Help You…and there are those out there that Want Your Money”.  It hurts for us to hear this, and yet, as with everything else, this is true as well in the world of Autism.  It hurts us more when it’s our precious children that happen to be victims to those that are out for money.  These ones prey upon the desperation of the parents of Autism Spectrum Children, and work hard to win their trust, knowing that loving our children the way we do…we will pay our last dime to make them better.

Therefore, this situation sets up a continuous rise and fall of hope to hopelessness…and we become jaded, distrustful, and cynical.   We may feel that we cannot take the polar dives from joy to pain in our hearts any longer…and so sometimes we give up!  We may even begin to think that if it sounds too good…then…it cannot be true! 

I have felt this way many, many times in the first 8 years of my son’s life.  I was close to giving up hope dozens of times, and thank goodness, I never did!  Perhaps if I relate an experience that I had, it will help you understand why I am so thankful that I never, ever lost hope…

One day…

…about a year ago, I had the pleasure of driving down Hwy 49 in California, called the Gold Miners, or 49ers trail.  Along this trail, you can visit and learn the history of all those miners who panned for gold…looking…looking for the glitter.  I got to pan for gold as well…and realized how very hard and tedious it was.  As I worked the pan swirling round and round looking for the glint of yellow…I found much that shone bright in the sun…only to have the miner tell me, “Nope, only fool’s gold, little lady…”

And so, I worked my pan to and fro…back and forth…making swirling and swishing movements…with the object being…since the “Gold” is heavy…heavier than the sand, and silt, it STAYS in the pan!  I liken this “REAL GOLD” to “Helpful, Progressive, and Functional Therapy Protocol”…It “STAYS IN THE PAN”, so to speak…and it withstands…there is no argument against it, as it is devastating in its logic, and it just makes good sense.  It “WORKS”…

Fools Gold, however, may shine, and it is pretty…but it is “VALUELESS”…just as a therapy protocol or center may be “pretty”, perhaps a very nice and shiny facility with nice therapists.  Be sure to ask yourself, “What is it really…little lady?”  “Is it mere fools gold?”  “Is it worth anything?”  In other words… “Is this therapy or treatment doing any good, and is my child progressing?”  If not…Then…It is VALUELESS…and not worth anything, especially not worth your money and time!

Please do not make the mistake of thinking that there is NO GOLD…just because it may be difficult to find.  It takes effort, much effort to find it…nevertheless…IT’S THERE!!!  There, also may be those that call you foolish for even trying and for going to such efforts…yet the reward is great…when you can shout at the top of you voice, “Eureka!”

You may wonder if I ever did find gold…The answer is YES!!!  I found “GOLD” literally…and better yet…figuratively…with a treatment plan perfect for my son…worth all the gold in the world and more…

“EUREKA !!!”

BY:  Kimberly Larochelle