There once was a traveler who came across a sight that intrigued him greatly. It was a full grown and very large elephant walking around in circles, only as far as he could walk, around and around in the small circumference that his back leg would let him.

The elephants leg was attached to a small length of rope which was tied to a small wooden peg that was stuck into the ground. The most curious thing to the traveler was that this full grown elephant, weighing several tons, could have easily pulled out the peg and escaped…yet he didn’t…he just walked around and around and never tried to pull out the peg in order to move any farther than his rope allowed. And so the traveler inquired further, and found out that this same elephant had been tied to this same rope and peg since he was just a baby. At that time, he wasn’t strong enough to yank the peg out of the ground no matter how hard he tried, therefore he gave up and eventually he never tried to break free again. He became discouraged, and that discouragement led to hopelessness.

Do we sometimes find ourselves in the same situation as this elephant? Discouraged and Hopeless. Striving with much effort to pull against the peg and failing to do so time and time again, thus instead of moving forward, we move around and around, pacing and never getting anywhere…never moving forward.

At some point in this elephant’s life as a baby he gave up and concluded it was futile to ever try again. Have we ever concluded this same futility within our minds and hearts and then just “given up”?   Those parent advocates with children on the Autism Spectrum have felt as this elephant many times as they have struggled hard against the wooden peg that is “Autism”. We can almost imagine ourselves as that baby elephant, remembering the day that we first got the diagnosis that our child had Autism or was somewhere on the Autism Spectrum. We pulled and pulled as hard as we could to break free, to move forward and find success for our child…nothing would stop our struggling against it! We didn’t give up either as we had much stamina in the beginning…we were determined to never, NEVER give up!

The question is however, have we given up? Have we stopped struggling? Does the “peg in the ground hold us still…as it’s prisoner?

The truth is all of us, if we are “real” and “honest” with ourselves, will answer “Yes”. To varying degrees, all of us have been in a state of discouragement and hopelessness haven’t we? The even bigger question is: Do we stay in this state…tied to this wooden peg?

Many of us have struggled against this peg for many years…every day…every hour…every minute, and we are weary, exhausted, and tired. What we may not realize though, is that we have grown! In all the time we have been struggling, and without noticing, we have gained strength! We may not even realize it, and still view ourselves as “baby elephants”, but much time has past and through our struggles…we have gained the stamina to pull out the peg. However, the key is believing that we actually can move forward. Without the hope and optimism we once had in the beginning, we will never, ever try. Do we believe we can?

Oftentimes, to believe in oneself requires the assistance of others. We need support! Others may need to hold up a mirror to us and show us just how strong we have become, and just how capable we really are. Sometimes we need to see someone else tied to a peg just like ours and yet have broken free…then in turn, they show us that it CAN be done.

It is noteworthy that this elephant that the traveler came across, was all alone, without any other elephants around…he was isolated. Sometimes, in our struggles, we tend to isolate ourselves…DON’T!

We absolutely need the support of others to keep on mustering up our optimism and hope!

 The support of others in our same situation, and with pegs of their own, is vital…as vital as breath is to life and therefore breathes life back into our attitude and keeps the discouragement from getting the best of us.

Can we see with our minds eye, pulling the peg out of the ground? We may always carry with us the rope and peg, as it may always be attached to us, and then again it could fall off as we keep moving forward…Nevertheless…

Keep moving forward!

Never, ever give up!

Yesterday the news headlines were all about the latest study into the cause of Autism.  The findings of this particular study was very large and looked at 93,000 children!  The study found that mothers that reported having the “Flu” during their pregnancy were at least  twice as likely to have a child with autism as those who didn’t report having the flu.

So, what do you think???

I know in the case of my own child, this study really hit a nerve as I did have the flu when I was pregnant with him and he is my only child out of 4 that is on the Autism Spectrum.  My other 3 are not at all, and I did not have the flu with any of their pregnancies.  Coincidence or an Autism Factor???   For many other moms that I have spoken to, this is not the case at all, and they never got the flu during pregnancy.  So then, what caused their child’s autism?

We then are back to the mystery…“What causes Autism?”

***Could it be just one thing or a number of factors?

***Is it Environmental or Genetic?

***Do Vaccines cause Autism?

The questions are vast, and there are many answers, however, for our particular child, which answers fit our questions?  This is up to you, and your child depends on you to find that answer. 

Here is the news report that inspired me to write this article, and at the same time inform as many as possible of any and all possibilities of an answer to Autism Spectrum.  Spread the word!  Please watch!  Inform and arm yourselves  with knowledge in order to fight as the ultimate advocate for your child!

ABC World And Local News – Headlines – Yesterday…

  Autism – New Study Links “Flu” to Autism!

ABC Action News, Linda Hurtado interviews Dr. Nelson Mane’

Link to News Story:

http://www.abcactionnews.com/dpp/news/health/tampa-experts-on-new-study-linking-flu-druing-pregnancy-with-autism

It is the latest in casual slang, “YOLO”, meaning “You only live once”.  Most of us don’t think twice and use it quite frequently as it musters courage and spontaneity with regard to our lives and making the most of it…because, of course, you only live once…

However, this term takes on a whole different meaning when thinking of our society of Autism Spectrum Disorder, and if we have a child on the spectrum, what does it mean for you as their parent.  This life, the one that we only live once…What is it like for them???  As far as it is up to us as parents, of course we want it to be the best it can be.  A life that is full of happiness and laughter, and one with a bright future as well.  This love and resolve for our children is what drive us isn’t it?  Never has there been a greater quest and never has there been a harder one!  Nevertheless, we take this challenge open armed, and without hesitation!

Why?

Because we love our children more than life itself, and there is no one…and I mean NO ONE that knows them and loves them like we do, and are willing to go to the great lengths that we must go in order to ensure their happiness and well being.  Keeping in mind our children, parents, especially those of ASD children have these letters stamped on our minds and hearts at all times…OCOLO – “Our Children Only Live Once”.  This is the driving force isn’t it…the one that keeps us going…looking, searching, scratching, and fighting the fine fight for our children!

It is quite a fight too and many times we fight alone.  We face an uphill battle, because society and medicine as a whole have not caught up with Autism Spectrum Disorders.  While they may be trying, there are many roadblocks in their way.  Things like funding research, politics, greed, and narrow minds.  While these may be as boulders in the road, they do not stop the parent who is driven by heartfelt confidence that there is hope for ASD and therefore HOPE for our child!  There is nothing, no nothing that will stand in the way of that! 

Give us a mountain…and just watch us climb it!!! 

After all… YOLO!!!

A new research study at the University of California suggests that women who were obese during pregnancy were about 67 percent more likely than normal-weight women to have children with autism. They also faced double the risk of having children with other developmental delays.

The study involved about 1,000 California children, ages 2 to 5. Nearly 700 had autism or other developmental delays, and 315 did not have those problems.

“This is quite a concern”, said Tampa’s own Dr. Nelson Mane’, “especially with regard to the rates with which Obesity is increasing in our society, including pregnant mothers.”

More than one-third of U.S. women of child-bearing age are obese.

Since the CDC’s recent statistics on Autism rates increased to 1 in 88 chance of having a child with autism; the results suggest that obesity during pregnancy would increase that to a 1 in 53 chance.

 “There are many risks factors that have been linked with Autism, including genetics, premature birth, jaundice, maternal and paternal age, etc. however this particular risk factor of Obesity during pregnancy can be avoided and controlled by maintaining a healthy weight and diet during pregnancy”, adds Dr. Mane’.

When it comes down to any and all risk factors that may contribute to Autism and our children it is imperative to take note and take all necessary precautions.  Their successful future and ours depends on it!

There is an old song and part of the chorus is this:  “But that was yesterday, and yesterday’s gone.”  Yesterday, I wrote of some very sad and alarming news, and the title was: “Yesterday 3/29/12 – CDC says Autism is 1 in 88!!!”  But that was yesterday, and yesterday’s gone…

I also wrote sadly, that these staggering statistics have almost doubled since the CDC began tracking these numbers, a shocking fact that was brought out by the organization, Autism Speaks.  But that was yesterday, and yesterday’s gone…

Then as my tears fell, I tried to type the terrible truth that now, yes now, Autism has been declared an “Epidemic” in the United States.  As I sigh, I think…But that was yesterday, and yesterday’s gone…

I gasped and could barely fathom as I read the report of 1 million children that are now affected with Autism.  And, I scream for the relief of these children and their suffering families…But that was yesterday, and yesterday’s gone…

The anger, the shock, the deep sadness, were all but yesterday, and yesterday’s gone…

Gone?!

Yesterday’s gone perhaps…nonetheless…this news is gut wrenching and a day that will never be forgotten.  However, what needs to be gone, as gone as yesterday, is the paralyzing shock that comes to us when we receive news such as this.  What needs to be gone is any feeling of helplessness and hopelessness.

Lets use this bad news for good shall we…Lets use it as a springboard to spring us into action and do something to stop this gushing wound that is the epidemic of Autism.  Don’t let yesterday discourage you from continuing to move forward!  Don’t let yesterday stop you from continuously cultivating in yourself “hope”!  Do not let yesterday be forgotten…But at the same time, always remember…Yesterday’s gone!!!

Let’s all work hard to make our future “Yesterdays”…better for our children…then as we look back on those yesterday’s…We’ll smile in our hearts, as we say to ourselves:

“But that was yesterday…and yesterday’s gone”.

What does “Anything” mean to you???

“Anything”, according to one dictionary reference holds this meaning: “No Matter What…”or another reference says, “To Any Degree or Extent…”

With this in mind, also consider that “Anything” has different meanings for each of us individually as well.  The degree or extent to which we will go to resolve something,  is vast indeed, according to the variety of people and circumstances.  Our personal strengths and weakness, our upbringing, our environment, etc., all have merit as to what “Anything” means to us, doesn’t it?

However the phrase, “ I would do anything!” is a common one amongst parents of children on the Autism Spectrum.  Why do we feel that way and why are we so heartfelt  and sacrificial in our struggles to help our children.  As parents, it is in our job description to be this way because we love our children with all our hearts and souls…and our children are our whole world.  We would lay down our own life without a second thought, and we do, everyday…every hour…every minute…every second.  Yes, we put our child’s betterment before us and this is our priority of life isn’t it?

The biggest challenge of our struggle to do “Anything” to help our child lies in the fact that we must search out what “Anything” is…

There is no one to tell us that “Anything” is: thus and such…  No, it is up to us to lift up every stone of a very rocky course to find out what “Anything” means for our child.  The Autism Spectrum truly is a world with many more questions than answers and we have to search out those answers as our child’s greatest advocate…there is none greater! 

Autism Spectrum is one of the most difficult challenges to handle because of the lack of this particular disabilities’ concrete nature.  I remember, personally, when one of my children was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at age 15 months, the nurse saying to me, “This is so difficult to deal with…” and while of course it was difficult, the more difficult disability to deal with was the ASD.  The difficulty was the unknown, the hidden brain of my child…if only I could see it!  I used to think, “If I could just get inside his little mind for only 5 minutes, I would know so much!”

“Anything…”

I have thought oftentimes of the lives of the early pioneers traveling westward for a better life for their families, not knowing what they may face, but having the resolve to face “Anything” for their loved ones.  One thing they had was hope…hope for a better life.  Hope is our hero!  Never turn your back on hope!  

Hope is: 

H –eartfelt

O-ptimisim  

in

P-ursuing

the

E-traordinary

***Will we be determined never to lose hope ourselves?

***Will we have the strength to keep mustering strength?

***Will we swallow our own pride, in order to turn over a criticized and less popular stone of choice for our child?

***Will there be any limits for “Anything”?

***Will YOU do “ANYTHING”???

Just a Few Words…Can Make a HUGE IMPACT in Early Diagnosis of Autism!!!

What Words??? 

Why are they important??? 

When in a child’s development should they know and speak these words???

Researchers have compiled a list of twenty five words that every toddler should know by age two. In some cases it can be a sign of greater problems from deafness to autism and so parents should keep this in mind when they observe their child’s speech development and when consulting with their pediatrician.

These are the 25 ‘must have’ words:

    1.  Mommy

  2.  Daddy

    3.  Baby

  4.   Milk

    5.  Juice

    6.  Hello

    7.  Ball

   8.  Yes

   9.  No

10. Dog

11. Cat

12. Nose

13. Eye

14. Banana

15. Biscuit

16. Car

17. Hot

18. Thank you

19. Bath

20. Shoe

21. Hat

22. Book

23. All gone

24. More

25. Bye bye

This article quotes Professor Rescorla, of Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania, who has tested and tracked the progress of 78 two-year-olds for 15 years. Half had been slow to start talking but didn’t have any other problems. By age 17, their vocabulary was classed as at least as good as average – but still wasn’t as good as those who were better talkers as toddlers.

Professor Rescorla says that if a child is otherwise developing normally, parents shouldn’t panic as many late-talkers are simple late bloomers. But if the child is still struggling for words by two and a half, they should consider help such as speech therapy, and certainly not put this off past the age of three.

Early Intervention is always best!

Here is the link to the rest of this article:

http://blog.hear-our-voices.org/2012/02/22/25-words-to-determine-if-your-child-is-a-late-speaker/

You may think that you have to give up delicious foods…say, “Waffles” for breakfast if you or your child may be on the Gluten Free and or Casein Free Diet.  Well…YOU DON’T…Yay!!!

I made some of the most delicious Gluten/Casein Free Waffles and the good tasting Casein Free butter ever…The Results came in FAST with many ”Yums!!!”… this delicious breakfast for my two boys, age 8 and age 11 was a smash hit…and they gobbled it up.    I added fresh fruit compote, made with fresh peaches, blueberries, and strawberries.  It was a very, Very yummy breakfast indeed.

I just wanted to pass this little food hint along to any that may be struggling with…”How do I feed my children…?”  The GFCF diet can be quite a challenge oftentimes…

All you need is:

1. Van’s Gluten Free Waffles in the Frozen Foods, (Health Food Store and or Publix)

2. Earth Balance Original natural buttery spread, Casein Free, (Health Food Store or Publix)

3. Fresh Fruit, Sweetened to Taste…

Easy and Tasty…Enjoy!!!  Your children will actually be echoing the famous commercial…”Leggo My Eggo!!!”

I just read an article this morning about a mother who was very distressed, angry, and saddened by the fact that her 7 year old child on the Autism Spectrum was not invited to a birthday party.  He was the only child in the whole neighborhood that was not invited, even though they all played together in the same neighborhood playgroup.

As I read it, my heart bled.  I am sure that we can all feel this pain.  The social/emotional gap between typical children and those on the autism spectrum is wide indeed.  A doctor once told me that children are the best diagnosticians in the world, and when you watch a group of them, the odd child will always stand out alone.

So we cry, feel sorry for ourselves and for our child, and become indignant with a “soap box” reaction, feeling that we must go on a mission to educate those ignorant of social disabilities.  These are all normal reactions of course, however, after all these negative feelings have passed, what can we do in the here and now for our child in a practical sense?

I was very impressed by the helpful answer to this predicament.  The answer was to be proactive in this situation by being prepared with other plans.  For instance:  The suggestion was made to have plans ready BEFORE the party, simply inviting the child that is having the party to a private celebration, such as going to a favorite restaurant that both would have fun at and having plenty of parental supervision.  A “one on one” type playgroup instead of a large group where our child will surely stand out. This great idea not only protects the child’s dignity and self esteem but it also gives an opportunity for education by assimilation, giving the other child and parent an occasion to broaden a greater understanding of Autism Spectrum and the social/emotional challenges that are a huge part of this disorder.

We may feel that we should not have to go to these lengths and that people should be more open minded, educated, and considerate.  The fact is, yes, they should be and this would be wonderful if these attitudes were prevalent.  However, this is not the case and we are our child’s parent.  We accepted that parental role with the true honor of “protector” of our child.  In order to be accomplished in our honorary title, we must make extraordinary efforts to protect the physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing of our child.  This is not a simple task either, especially protecting our child’s emotional wellbeing.  Keep in mind though, if we do not protect their self esteem and dignity…No one else will!

Let’s arm ourselves my fellow parents with a positive and defensive wall of protection for our kids.  Thus, by so doing, we rise above the negative and dwell on a positive direction of promoting awareness.  Just remember the old saying, “More flies are gathered by honey than with vinegar” and no one wants to listen to us if our words are sour.  It may take more work and effort on our part, but our children are definitely worth it!

Kimberly Larochelle